INT. Office – Script Frenzy – Day 1

MATT, a strangely disappointing excuse of a man, stares with glazed eyes, the sort of glaze that is usually reserved for doughnuts, at a computer screen containing a BLANK document .

The CURSOR taunts him.

His well is dry, fortunately he has indoor plumbing – even in the north of England, but that isn’t helping him now.

MATT’s fingers glide over the keyboard as he types.

It would seem Matt is shit at typing. He deletes, and starts again, SLOWLY.

Ideas = 0.
Pages = 0.

MATT
I’m already behind in the page count, and it’s only just gone midnight.

CUT TO:

One Year Craptacular: A Clip Show Featuring Almost All Recycled Material

You remember back in the day when I started this blog?

No, I didn’t think so. Let’s take a look back shall we:

Now if… I have returned… and someone has found me… There once was a man… that looks like me. For those of you who don’t… stop bothering me… Go… it just looks more professional.

I reached… me… the answer… truckin’

Everybody else… could have saved time by… a dish best served with sprouts… in a vacuum!

It’s movie time.

Ah, good times.

Here’s to the next lot of ignored posts…

And to ScriptFrenzy!

Hurrah!

One Year Craptactular!

That’s right, it’s been one year of inane posts that nobody has read.

You may be the first, unless you are reading this over someone’s shoulder and that means you are a close second. So take a step back, and stop invading my personal space.

So while this is the Internet, happy e-paper anniversary. (An anniversary of this magnitude doesn’t warrant an exclamation point.) But you could have at least sent an e-card you unsentimental bastard.

Will we reach the next one? Probably, unless I forget my login details.

Don’t forget the traditional Anniversary Clip Show Featuring 10% New Material!

Coming up next.

(Recycling, not only is it good for the environment, but it removes the need to be creative.)

If you can read this, chances are you aren’t illiterate.

… but enough about you, it’s movie time.